Alice

So, I watched this mini series on SyFy called, Alice. Also, remember when SciFi changed its name to SyFy, weird. It wasn't bad or anything, I liked it, they used like 75% of the Matrix sountrack though which was really noticeable.

So remember that other SyFy mini series called Tin Man? You know the one with Zoe Deschanel and Alan Cumming? You know, the one that's like a Cah-razzy take on the Wizard of Oz? Basically, this one was like that one except for the fact that Tin Man should have been super awesome and was like the worst. Ugh, why I love mini series I'll never know.

Well, anyway, this Alice is a cah-razzy take on, you guessed it, Ghostbuster II, gotcha, it's actually Alice in Wonderland, Idiots. (At least I respect you though, I capitalized "Idiots" which you are, idiots.) The best way to describe my reaction to this small-screened masterpiece is to list my series of "favorites".

favorites:

My favorite part is where Alice is an adult and is a black belt in karate for some reason. Also, my favorite part about this is that the actress and the fight choreography is not at all believable, believe me, I know, I just watched the bio about Michelle Yeoh. Fun fact about Michell Yeoh, she was the first female actress Jackie Chan allowed to do kicks in his movies. Jackie wouldn't even let Lucy Lui do a kick in Shanghai Knights because it was not believable. So, there you have it, Jackie Chan is pretty sexist.

My favorite part is where the white rabbit, spoiler alert, somehow loses his head (because he's actually just a dude in a business suit) and gets a robot rabbit head instead. Also, he's a hitman so he totally stole my schtick for when I go to the bars.

My favorite part is how much the promos and commercials said stuff like "starring Tim Curry, Academy Award-winning actress Kathy Bates and introducing Catarina Scorsone." First of all, Tim Curry is literally, literally in about 5, maybe 6 minutes of the 4 hour mini series. Second, why do they keep saying "introducing Catarine Scorsone"? Is this her first profesh acting job ever? Is she actually a martial arts genius and this is her breaking into film? Is she some sort of model or professional athlete that got this role because she's pretty? Nope none of the above. I checked out her IMDB, she's been acting professionally since she was 8. So, I guess we're being introduced to her because no one knows who she is because she has yet to become famous (and never will). That's mean.

My favorite part was also all the special effects, like flamingo motorcycle flying things that were like those glider things in Star Wars. That's really the best part of mini series in general, the lack of budget for special effects.

Anyway, this film didn't make a whole lot of sense, but stuff was always happening and the Mad Hatter was adorable in the A-DO-able way. Get it?

So really, I have opinions, you are jerks!

Sincerely,
Me