Why watch movies?

All right, before I jump right in to reviewing sweet kick-ass and totally totally lame movies, let's have an honest and open discussion about why it is that I watch movies, so here goes...

I recently moved to LA, you know, the Hollywood area, where dreams are made and lives are shattered. It's very sad and, like, you know, soul-crushing, but listen, I'm not here to be an actor, party a bunch, or make it big in the biz. I go to school because my parents still let me and I thought it would be a good idea to try something new. For all of your sakes, just imagine I'm a 12-year-old college graduate. But imagine a world where you are the kind of person who doesn't like to leave your house or do stuff, so you hole up in your apartment that you share with a friend who works in Orange County, so they're never there, which is cool because they can't see all of your weird disgusting habits, but also not cool because now you actually have no reason to leave your home of miserly weirdness. Then imagine that you don't own a couch, but you do have HD cable and spend a lot of time laughing too loudly at the TV with no one in particular to things that are not that funny. And then one day you go to a thing called a movie theater in like a mall or some king of mall-type area, and it is glorious.

"So, weird girl who is covered in crusty subway wrappers and cheese, what kind of movie do you want to see?"

"Umm, I want to see a movie that doesn't reflect my real, boring, quiet life, and one that takes me to a world where only impossible things happen in a totally unbelievable way, such that I believe that they could happen to me. And, uh, I'm not that into mysteries."

There you have it. I'm a firm believer in the movie industry that flourished during the Depression Era. It's all about escapism, boo. I'm a 100-year-old 12-year-old college graduate. Also, I don't have a job. Oh, and I'm a lady. So, I got that going for me... sort of...

Okay, so, as they say, let's get this show on the road!