Jennifer's Body

Certainly since Diablo Cody has an oscar for her apparently cute and adorable film Juno she must have some writing chops. I was wrong, so, so, so, very, sadly, dissappointingly, stupidly, wrong. And now I can only think about pork chops, how delicious...

Here was my rookie mistake. I believed the hype that J's B touted in their own promos. I feel sheepish to admit, but when reputable sources are used in commercials for movies I think, maybe it's going to be great! I still don't get that that's an advertising trick. As pirates would say: what a fool I be.

I don't really know what revelation to say about J's B because if you've seen the preview, you've seen the movie, absolutely no Megan Fox boobie action. And also, dear commercials/trailer she never says "Do you like my body" in the movie. Work on that.

Sadly, the acting was not the part that ruined the movie, it was the academy award-winning writing. I get that it's both fun and hilarious to use abbreviations of words to make the convo hilare, but calm it down Diabz. Instead of saying "shutties" shut-up will do. Instead of calling someone "Jell-o" or "Lime green jell-o" just say jealous.

The plot of the movie is also not good, I won't ruin it for you in case you want to poison your eyeballs and skull juice, but it's riddled with holes and not in the good mystical "just believe" way, but in the bad "this is all just too convenient" way.

Reccommendation: Don't see Diablo's Cody

But, do see Jorma, Andy, and Akiva!